Ban this sick filth

Last week I was handed a 12 hour ban by Twitter for my October 17th tweet “Jacob Rees-Mogg really is the cunt’s cunt.“. I appealed the ban, but the appeal was unsuccessful.

After a bit of thought, I decided to delete the offending tweet and, 12 hours later, I returned to Twitter. “Twitter gave me a 12 hour ban for, and forced me to delete, my “Jacob Rees-Mogg really is the cunt’s cunt” tweet. Which is odd, because Jacob Rees-Mogg really *is* the cunt’s cunt.” I said, knowing full well what would happen.

And it did. About an hour ago Twitter handed me a seven day ban, which will start when I delete the offending tweet about the offending tweet. I’ve appealed the ban.

I’m waiting for Twitter’s response, but I’m not hopeful.

To be clear, I’m not whingeing about Twitter banning me. It’s their site, they can enforce their rules however they see fit. For a site brimming with misogynists and fascists who issue death threats with gay abandon, though, my ban for expressing a non-violent, non-threatening personal opinion about a man who is quite clearly the cunt’s cunt seems like a misapplication of resources. I’m sure that cunt Jacob Rees-Mogg would disagree.

Update 2019-10-30: Twitter rejected my appeal, so I have deleted the offending tweet about the offending tweet, starting the countdown to the end of my seven day ban. In the meantime I can be found @ncguk1.

A partially in-depth analysis of Boris Johnson’s proposed Withdrawal Agreement Bill

Having obtained, read and inwardly digested overnight the entire text of the proposed Withdrawal Agreement Bill, I can say with a high degree of confidence that Brexit under these or any terms will inevitably lead to the United Kingdom becoming significantly more fucked than it already is. This can be seen in Fig.1.

As you can see, our current level of fucktitude is relatively low (though higher than most European countries) but, post-Brexit, this will dramatically increase to a level of fucktitude higher even than Luxembourg, if Luxembourg were made entirely of dog shit and James Blunt records.

The most widely used example of change pre- and post-Brexit is the import of medicine from the EU. Currently this is a frictionless process but, post-Brexit, medicine will be subject to enormous friction, causing some or all of the medicine to catch fire. Dr. Alan Pills, head of the British Medical Association, has predicted that this will be unhelpful.

The just-in-time manufacturing sector would be similarly disrupted. Currently this supply of essential components flows effortlessly and predictably, enabling efficient workflow. But, after Brexit, the man who says “Phew, just in time!” every time a new shipment arrives would be dragged into the gutter and given a kicking for being so annoying.

It isn’t just the supply of goods that would be affected. Services, too, will become much more difficult to procure. For example, the UK currently imports more than 750,000 marriage and funeral services annually from Poland, Spain, Italy and France. Post-Brexit, each vicar will need to be individually vetted and issued with his or her own ‘Priest Passport’, causing potentially enormous delays to marriages and deaths running into weeks or even months.

It’s clear, on inspection of the Withdrawal Agreement Bill, that Brexit will fuck every element of our lives from artichokes to zebras, and no-one enjoys a fucked artichoke or a fucked zebra. For that reason, and for the reasons I outline above, I urge MPs to vote down the Withdrawal Agreement Bill and give Boris Johnson a sharp smack in the man tits.