Coronavirus: World in shock as Trump reveals he did a ban on China

Donald Trump, pictured here not doing a ban on China
China. China. Chiiiina

The world was reeling this morning after Donald Trump revealed at his latest coronavirus briefing that he had done a ban on China in January.

“I did a ban on China in January,” Trump told stunned reporters. “I banned China. Nobody wanted to do that. I didn’t want to do that. But I stopped China. China. I had a billion maps printed without China on them. China ceased to exist for a little while there, let me tell you. I did a ban on China. There were 21 guys in the room and 29 of them didn’t want a ban on China but I did a ban on China. We had 15 cases, 10 cases, there were no cases in America. Nobody had died but I did a ban on China and if I hadn’t done a ban on China we would have had 400 million deaths just in America. But because I did the ban on China we’ve had only a few deaths – some people even came back to life I heard, which is something that’s never happened before. China. They looked at me like I was crazy but I did the ban on China and now we don’t need testing – even though we have the best tests, beautiful tests – because I did the ban on China. You know when I did the ban? January. January. No-one had even heard of the virus in January, but I knew and I did the ban. I banned China. China.”