Trump: “I knew George Floyd better than anyone”

Trump, proving you can put fake tan on a turd
Trump and his diverse team

“You know, thanks to me, the economy is looking great, jobs are looking great, I’m looking great, nobody’s talking about the 108,000 dead Americans, and I know my good friend George Lloyd would be enjoying this from wherever you religious guys like to believe he is now. Amen.

“I remember when me and Lorge were kids, playing in the park between Minnesota and New York and he said to me, he said “Donnie, when I die you gotta make the numbers work, you gotta fix the unemployment no matter what’s happening with the coronavirus, and you gotta dominate the battlespace. You gotta use my name, Donnie, but make sure it’s all about you. That’s the most important thing, Donnie,” he said, “You gotta make sure you look good.”

“And the other day when I personally cleared the crowds outside the White House, I knew my best friend Geord was looking down on me saying, “Good job Donnie. I always hated having human rights and that god-dammed constitution was a pain in my ass”. Well, we’re knocking over pensioners and tazing guys like you’ve never seen before, Florge, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m doing it for you, dead guy on the news, I’m doing it for you.

“So next time you’re in a protest or just minding your own business and you get murdered by a cop, remember they’re doing it to honour the memory of the man whose fault this all is, Floyd George. God Bless America.”