It has emerged this week that Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, is a twat. The news, which came as a surprise to almost no-one, broke after a series of twatty actions by the electric car twat, causing all reasonable human beings to conclude that he is definitely a twat.
“I always knew he had a propensity for twattishness,” said Humboldt Fruitmagnet, a fruit magnate and Musk-watcher from Humboldt, Virginia. “But his twatting about this week has really cemented his reputation as a big flying twat.”
Social media twat-spotter Marie Biscuit, a widely respected expert in the field of online twattery, agreed. “It’s always been felt by the public that Musk could go either way, becoming a world-class testicle-faced brain genius or a solid gold cheese-topped caravan of twats. This week everyone has sort of had their eyes opened to the fact that he is, without doubt, King of the Twats, supreme ruler of the Kingdom of Twatsylvania.”
Chester Platelets, chief business correspondent for Fox News, had a different take, saying: “He seems like a reasonable guy to me.”