The big question: do 5G masts spread coronavirus?

A picture of a coronavirus-spreading 5G mast
Fun time phone mast coronavirus conspiracy balls

During this worrying and uncertain time, the question of how COVID-19 has spread so quickly around the globe is one everybody wants an answer to. The most stunning theory that has emerged is that 5G phone masts are spreading coronavirus.

But are they? Well, if you’re seriously asking yourself that question, what you need to know is that of course they fucking aren’t, you brain-dead fact-dodging bleach-drinking flat-Earth anti-vaxx QAnon pizzagate chemtrail aliens-are-among-us new-age deep-state storm-Area-51 total fucking fuckwit.

What the fuck has gone wrong with you that you would believe this sort of baseless crap? Seriously. Get your fucking act together or fuck off as far away as possible, have a cup of tea and a rest, and then fuck off some more.