In time of desperation, Uncle Nutcase finds religion

Donald Trump trying to work out how to open a book
BOOK

“Got this book here. Not sure what it is. Looks old, though. Wait, there’s some writing on the side. Holly Bible. I wonder who she is. Did she write this? I wonder if she’s got a great pair of… hey, wait, is this the God book? The famous one? I’m gonna hold this up and let these assholes take pictures of me. That seems like a presidenty thing to do.”