Trump: I invented everything and made it famous

Donald Trump, pictured here being a narcissistic douchebag
“Coffee tables, no-one could put their coffee and coffee table books anywhere before that.”

“…Space, yeah, I invented that. I invented cars, I made them famous. I was the first person to put spaghetti with meatballs, not a lot of people know that. And computers. I made them famous, I invented them, invented the Microsoft, the Windows, you know. Elastic, tennis balls, smoke. I invented them. I invented smoke. Skin cream. I thought of that. No-one had thought of that until I thought of that. Birthday cards. People just used to go, you know, “Hey”, to people when it was their birthday until I invented the birthday card. First aid was one of mine. Before that there was only second aid. Gravel. Iceland. Peacocks. All mine. And let me tell you, I created reminders. Everyone, they’d forget things all the time until reminders came along. I did captions too. No-one knew what photographs were about until captions came along. I’m just naming things now, but then I invented naming things…”